Diary of a New Dad | Malaria & Fatherhood

LOCATION: PAPUA NEW GUINEA, JANUARY 2011.

It was the second time I had malaria - the first time was in the lowlands, and this time I was in the highlands. The first time was rough, but this time it took much longer to get medicine so it was incredibly intense, my fever was higher, the chills were stronger, and I was weaker. In the midst of my pain and weakness, I had the most serious "heart to heart" with God I had ever had. As the chills kicked in and caused me to shake violently, I questioned God like never before.

It just so happened that the moments before the malaria kicked in, I finished reading a book called "Knowing God" by J.I. Packer, who basically calls the reader to quit trying to know things about God and actually step into a relationship with him - to really know him. In the midst of my questioning his power, his will, and quite honestly his existence, the violence of my chills suddenly went from a raging wave to the most still, tranquil peace I had ever known - ever. I felt the gentleness of his presence, and a soft whisper in the depths of my soul. I heard him speak to me, "My dear child. I love you. I'm here for you. You are weary, but I am strong. I know everything about you. Shhhh, be still and know that I am God. Let me teach you my ways. Let me love you. Keep your eyes fixed on me." For the following 4 weeks, my malaria continued -- but each night when the fever raised & chills increased, I told Brittany, "It's time to learn about God. Time to deepen my relationship with him and know him more."

I took this picture the day after the encounter described above, Jan. 2010.

FAST FORWARD EXACTLY 3 YEARS...

LOCATION: PASADENA, CA. JANUARY 2014.

Brittany and I had just finished giving Zoey a bath before bed, which has become a routine of ours and of course a very special and intimate time together. She had been cleaned and fed, yet she began to scream loudly -- differently than she has before. So I wrapped her up tightly in her cute little ducky towel, still completely naked, vulnerable, dependent, and screaming. I held her closely in my arms and began to whisper to her, saying, "My dear child. I love you. I'm here for you. You are weary, but I am strong. I know everything about you. Shhhh, be still little one and know that I am your father. Let me love you. Keep your eyes fixed on me."

In the middle of one scream she suddenly turned her head and fixed her eyes on mine, and immediately had a radical peace come over her. She relaxed and gazed up at me and realized that she was safe, and that I was there to watch over her and protect her. At that exact moment I had a flashback to the moment I fixed my eyes on the Father several years ago. It was during that time that my relationship with Him strengthened like never before. I've never been the same since that intimate encounter in the midst of suffering.

Likewise, my relationship with Zoey strengthened as well that night.  I knew that becoming a Dad would teach me about God. Well, friends - those lessons have officially begun.

My precious daughter, Zoey, and me. Jan. 2014.

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Diary of A New Dad - Embarking On A Different Kind of Adventure

I'M A DAD!!! 

After 4 years of dating and 6 years of marriage, my wife, Brittany, and I welcomed our precious little girl, Zoey Elizabeth Sherman, to this world on 12/9/13 at 11:49 am, 20" long and 7 pounds 9.6 ounces of pure perfection. It has been an incredible journey getting to this point in our lives, and even more so throughout the pregnancy and labor process - stories sure to come in the near future!

And my oh my has the time flown by -- she's almost a month old already. Crazy!! We have treasured every single moment together as we find ourselves continuously kissing her little nose and toes, squeezing her cheeks, and simply reflecting on how much of a miracle it is to finally have her in our arms, gazing at her with unconditional love. One of my favorite things to do is simply hold her while she holds my finger tightly in her tiny fingers, staring at the intricate details of her fingernails, eyelashes, full head of hair, and so much more.

CLICK HERE TO SEE PICTURES OF ZOEY'S FIRST FEW WEEKS OF LIFE. 

(Here's a snapshot of what you're in for. The cuteness is strong with this one!)

Anyways, I don't want to get too ahead of myself. I just wanted to finally get in a rhythm of writing all the things going on in our world right now. I know many people say, "Just wait until the second and third, when all the milestones aren't as big of a deal and you're much less in awe of it all." Well first of all, I hope I don't lose this passion for God's beautiful creation and of the precious gift of life and responsibility of raising a child! And second of all, even if that is the case, you better believe I'm going to be the token parent who runs around telling everyone how proud I am and how much love Brittany and I have for one another and our baby girl! Boom!!

That said, I invite you to follow my "Diary of a New Dad". First off, you need to know this: I am a Christian and believe that God created us in his image, and has blessed us with an opportunity to know him more by creating new life, loving our children unconditionally, and honoring God and others with every word spoken and deed done. One of the final pieces of my choice to want a child was because I knew I would learn so much more about the Father's heart. My prayer is that this blog would be a place where I can unpack those lessons, reflections, and discoveries.

This will also be a space dedicated to being transparent about the struggles of parenthood as they too will surely become a reality. One thing in particular will be the difficulties in moving overseas, saying goodbye to family here, and bringing a grandchild to another continent.

But in the midst of these hard times will come stories of blessing, encouragement, hope, healing, and the joys that come with walking alongside those who live in poverty, loving on children who have never known the love of a mother or father, and serving them together as a family as we embrace what we have in common - complete dependence on God.

Warning: Expect this blog will be full of posts about how amazing this adventure of parenthood will be with my hero -- my wife. She is my treasure and inspiration and I could not imagine life without her love and example. Visit Britt's blog here!

Lastly -- I'll definitely include tons of stories of poop, spit up, throw up, pee, burps, diapers, and all things that come with the territory of being a dad. I don't know about you, but I CAN'T WAIT! The real question is, to include pictures or not? Just kidding. But seriously let me know ;)

Hope to see you in Diary of a Dad part II. 
Looking forward to your comments and questions. God bless!

Mark Sherman, aka Zoey's daddy.

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A Homeless Man & A Hole in Our Gospel

I went to meet a friend for lunch but decided to go early to grab a coffee first. 

I ended up in a conversation with a kind-hearted homeless guy (a former Marine, discharged years back from a bad parachuting accident) who recognized me from a conversation we had a few years ago. He wanted to tell me why he left Christianity – I told him I'd be honored to listen to his story. It turns out he stopped believing in God because of the Church. 

Everywhere he went for help people told him he simply needed to read his Bible more. He then proceeded to quote several Scriptures to me (he really did read the Bible a lot) about God’s desire for people to live out their faith in word & deed and to have compassion on the poor. He said, “Mark, there are so many holes in their gospel. They ignore so many Scriptures, I wonder if it’s THEM that should be reading the Bible more!” 

He's completely correct. When Christians lack compassion & overlook people in the margins, they totally miss the point of Christianity and the purpose of following Jesus. 

Fast forward: I told him I had basically left the church once upon a time, but ironically came back to Christianity because I encountered Jesus -- from hanging out with homeless people on street corners & back alleys!! We laughed about the irony of our stories & how they "just so happened" to cross again, and talked about putting our Ultimate Trust in a person (Christ) over institutions. I told him he is not overlooked. He is seen, by me but more importantly by Jesus. And yes, while too many churches do push people away, there are many who do not... Eventually we wished each other the best, and parted ways again (for now).

Jesus - a homeless man - left the 99 to find me once upon a time, and I know he's beside my friend somewhere in Pasadena right now. I pray that they too have a nice chat. (After all, they have an awful lot in common.)

REFLECTION SECTION (COMMENT BELOW):

I would love to hear your thoughts about this encounter. What are some reflections, responses, ways to move forward? If you were in my situation, what would you have said? If you were in his situation, how would you feel? And what are some Scriptures and/or other readings that come to mind when you read this story?

Blessings To Zoey. Love, Africa (Part 1)

I asked a few of the friends we met in Tanzania last year if they'd like to write a blessing for Zoey, and got four wonderful responses. I'll write the others in the future, but here is the one written by our dear Kenyan friends, Faith & Renson Kimori. They are the ones we'll be working very closely with to help empower street boys and girls who have been abandoned or sex trafficked once we're living in Moshi (The girls are the ones sewing the purses we've been raving about over the past few months!)

I took this photo of Renson & the boys last summer.

Faith & the girls

Here's our first shipment of purses & macbook pro cases! Let us know if you want to buy one!

I tried to read this blessing at the baby shower a few weeks back, and was too choked up to finish so thankfully Brittany helped me (though tears were streaming down her face as well). There were very few dry eyes in the house by the end of the letter, so maybe you should grab a tissue :)

Zoey,

You will be born in the US, and most of your childhood you will spend with your parents under the stars of Tanzania in Africa, playing and enjoying each other in love, peace and the joy of the Lord. You are such a blessing, and to be born in such a moment was ordained. I know you're happy to accompany Mark & Brittany to Africa, because it's a good thing to do.

Zoey we know your living and growing up in Africa will bring sadness to many people, especially your grandpa and grandma, it's okay, for them to be sad, because they love you and want the best for you, but you will also get the best from God and from us while serving alongside your parents. We will take good care of you and we know God will open his good heaven for you and your parents to protect, provide and care for you well being. We will always be alongside you and we know one who will never leave or forsake you, his name is Jesus.

To Zoey's grandparents, family and friends, we are grateful for you all for bringing such a great joy and peace and wonderful gift to this world through your son and daughter, Mark and Brittany. We met face to face for a very short time and every second with them counted and they have changed our lives forever.

Sitting and talking and sharing with the Shermans was so powerful that it expanded our dream for the boys and girls hundredfold, one thing I know about them, they live for what they believe and are a son and daughter of God not only of word but of deeds.

Grandpa and grandma, family and friends, Mark & Brittany have started writing a book in heaven and a letter of love, peace and joy in the hearts of the girls and boys of Africa. They are changing history! Mark and his family will continue the writing you started as a family of God - when they come it's also like you coming with them to do the good work.

We have a deep friendship with your son and daughter and Christ has connected us to do a great work together and empower the boys and girls who come from very poor families, orphans and rescue them from poverty, sex trade and all the temptation of this world, and much more - to bring them to the knowledge of Christ. Please let's release them to Africa in love, in peace and in joy, helping them with all we have to see their dream come to pass. It's a Noble Purpose!!

We believe Mark & Brittany are called and ordained of God to serve the noble purpose of God in Africa. We humbly ask you to give Mark & Brittany to change lives, and remember we will only be borrowing your hands and feet, ideas and will through Mark, Brittany, and Zoey.

Thanks for saying yes.

- Renson & Faith Kimori.

If you'd like to partner with us as we partner with Faith, Renson, and the boys & girls, please visit our get involved page or give page on our website.

Please also feel free to like our Facebook page, the boys' Facebook page, or the girls' Facebook page. Let them know how awesome and loved they are :)

Our Big Baby Shower - No Pics? No Problem.

It's crazy to think that one week has gone by since our baby shower in Temecula, and Brittany & I are still reflecting on how special it was to us. In spite of 100+ degree whether that afternoon, over 50 people came out to surround us with love and support as we anticipate Zoey's arrival in just a few months!

Among our guests were friends from Temecula and other parts of California, as well as friends from Tanzania, Nigeria, Ivory Coast, and the Philippines. It was a multi-ethnic, multi-generational, and multi-lingual gathering - yet there was one significant theme - Christ is the author of life, and has blessed us with the most precious gift of all, a precious little girl growing big and strong in Brittany's womb! This baby shower was church in motion!

We thanked people who have known us from a few months to a few years to those who even knew us when we were still in our mother's wombs! God has blessed Brittany and I with many wonderful friendships, and has creatively led us into each other's lives. We're blown away by the cool stories each of us bring to the table, and overjoyed to see people from different circles get to know one another for the first time. It was also important for us to take a much-needed moment to acknowledge the guest of honor, the author and sustainer of life; the one who makes it possible to love and grow closer to God and each other; and the one who has blessed us with our little miracle - Jesus Christ!

After a few hours of eating, conversing, looking at photos from Tanzania, making onesies for Zoey, and more - Brittany & I brought everyone together one more time. We reminded everyone of how blessed we were to celebrate life (Zoey's name even means "life"!), and talked about how surreal it was to actually be at our very own baby shower. Moreover, we reminded everyone that this is also a difficult time especially for our families, knowing that the three of us will be moving to Tanzania next year. We're not just pregnant with a baby after all, but also pregnant with a dream and a vision to be missionaries on the other side of the planet. It's super tough, but we're grateful that it is tough because we are surrounded by so many incredible friends and a family that loves us beyond measure.

We talked about Tanzania - a land full of so much hardship and devastation due to poverty, millions of orphans, disease, corruption, crime, and marginalized peoples - yet also a land full of so much hope, beauty, and potential. God has given us an undeniable passion to move to this land and walk through life with the people, empowering them to rise out of their circumstances and find healing and restoration and a noble purpose.

We desire to make disciples and see leaders rise up to create a new narrative. We read Matthew 18:10-14 which is when Jesus talks about leaving the 99 to find the 1 who has gone missing. There are millions of precious little children like Zoey who have never known the love of a mother or father. They have been overlooked and exploited, and left in physical, mental, and spiritual poverty. It is our desire to go out to them and do what it takes to lead them back to the fold, and to find the healing, hope, and restoration that is only available at the foot of the cross. No amount of sex trafficking, hunger, abuse, or oppression is great enough to put them outside of Christ's love - in fact, it is for those whom Christ came for! It's about the one.

We talked about some of our goals and desires upon moving to Tanzania, including special project close to our hearts - a partnership with a Kenyan couple to empower street boys and neglected girls through vocational development, mentorship, and discipleship. I attempted to read a touching letter from that Kenyan couple, Pastors Renson & Faith Kimori... It was a blessing for Zoey and encouragement to our families to send us to them to continue the good work that God has started. I got too choked up while reading the letter, so Brittany picked it up and read the rest, tears streaming down her face as well. When the letter was finished, I looked up to see tears rolling from eyes all over the room - a moment I will never forget. I'll include that letter in another post next week :)

The night was too packed with fellowship and conversations to get around to taking photos, but I'm perfectly okay with that - the memories made at this glorious celebration far outweigh the photos that might have been taken. We were simply too engulfed in the moment, and too present with loved ones to turn the camera on to snap a few pics. Though I have nothing to show you, we are blessed with amazing friends and family, and stories to last a lifetime.

We're also indebted to the many people who planned the shower; to Brittany's mom coming in from Kansas and sacrificing tons of time & money to make it perfect; Britt's sister Kirsti for coming in from Colorado for the big day; my family for opening up their home and going through so much trouble to make everything just right; and to the dozens of people who came out on a 100+ degree afternoon to spend time with us, give above and beyond what we could have imagined, and celebrate Zoey Elizabeth - the most precious gift God could ever give us this side of eternity. We are simply overwhelmed.

Thank you to those who participated in this baby shower, and thank those of you who took the time to read this slightly longer reflection than normal ;)

Best Bottle of Coke I've Ever Purchased

I woke up at midnight, wide awake. By 2:30am I’d finished emails, checked and rechecked Facebook, browsed YouTube, etc. It was too early to grind coffee (it would annoy the neighbors big time), so I figured I’d go down and fill up the car with gas and get a coke. I never just go buy a coke. But after tonight, perhaps I should more often...

As I get out of the car, I pass a man who had too much to drink and was about to drive. He told me he’d been kicked out for talking about Syria and telling the workers they don’t love America enough and should watch more football and baseball. I’m about to go inside and he tells me if I want a video to go viral on YouTube, just stay in there and film him going off and throwing stuff around.

I pay for my coke and gas, and warn them about the disgruntled dude pumping gas next to me. I walked out and the guy is finished but his car won’t start (thank God). He hooked up the cables to my car and his, and I told him, “Please don’t drive if you’re drunk. My cousin lost his life by being hit by a drunk driver.”

His very next words: “So my little brother committed suicide this weekend. F***er was on crystal meth and hung himself. Our mom found him that way.”

Boom. Just like that, I get a glimpse of what was boiling beneath the surface. This wasn’t about baseball, it was about a broken heart. He’s on his way from Seattle to Moreno Valley to be with the mom he and his half-brother had in common. It turns out they had different dads, both whom have been in and out of prison, on drugs, and quite frankly not being the dads their kids need them to be.

He was in his bros car, looking at his bros papers, listening to his favorite radio stations, and visiting the places his bro loved most – including the bars. He said all this is so fresh that he hadn’t cried yet, and didn’t ever plan on it either. Somewhere in there I asked if he had ever prayed, and he said he did once when he was 15, and that was about it. 

So about twenty minutes later, he looks me right in the eyes, Swisher Sweet in his mouth, and says, “I really need some God in my life right now.”

Needless to say, I talked about how God had changed my life – particularly after the death of my Cousin Brandon – and that Jesus came for the brokenhearted. Somehow I hoped those words might stick to his heart. I asked if he minded if I prayed, and as he sat in the driver’s seat he reached out the window and grabbed my hand and said, “Yes, please do.” I thanked God for having us meet at the perfect time, in the midst of all the hurt and pain and questions, and to be with him and his family and use this as an opportunity to change everything around and be there for his mom and siblings during this time. He also started praying, and even cried – not much, but just enough. Perhaps the healing can begin now. I pray that those tears will somehow start the mourning process and lead him to a new place of restoration and a new life.

After lots more talking about his realization that money and alcohol are leading him nowhere, he gave me a pen and one of his brother’s papers to write down my info. I wrote it down, along with a church that I know of in Moreno Valley, and the words: “Always remember – Jesus came for the brokenhearted.” (If he forgets everything that happened, at least he'll have that note.) We chatted some more, and after nearly two hours he seemed much more sober. We shook hands, he thanked me for my time and for listening to his story, and we parted ways.

No viral videos tonight, but perhaps a heart full of hope that will go viral in his life and the lives of his family instead. I don’t know what will ever come of that encounter, but it’s in God’s hands - it always has been. Join me in praying that my new friend might find Jesus, find healing from so much pain and deep wounds, and the comfort of the Holy Spirit. May this "random" event serve as a pivotal moment that he will never forget. It's not about the coke bottle - it's about a divine encounter with the God of the universe in a gas station.

Jesus, thank you for what you’ve done in my own life, in the lives of others, and for what you’re about to do in my new friend’s life. Thank you for using what the enemy intends for bad and turning it into good. You’ve done it so many times, please do it again. And thank you for coming for the brokenhearted and searching for those who have gone astray. You are the Good Shepherd, and you know us by name. You comfort those who weep, and you make all things new. Amen.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; the old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

Fuller Friends Baby Shower!

Last night we had a fantastic time celebrating Zoey, by having a baby shower with our friends from Fuller! We gathered on campus, enjoyed one another's company, and got caught up on life for a few hours. It was really cool to look around at the few dozen friends we've gotten to know so well over the past few years, and be thankful for what God has done and will continue to do. Words cannot express how thankful we are to be surrounded by people from literally all over the world, and experience more meaningful, deeper, richer things in life - like the coming of a precious little girl into the world!

It would have been nice to take a lot more photos, and include everyone that was there! But I guess we gotta give ourselves a little bit of grace :) Here are a few photos from the night...